My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize