I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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