If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
