I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
