Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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