my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
