i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
