The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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