and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
