How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
