i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
