I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
