Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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