ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
