I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
