omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
