I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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