How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
