Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
