I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
