The maid of honor just puked.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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