It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
