"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
