He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
