You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
