I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
