it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't think brook has ever known best
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
