I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
