Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize