Sry I called you an 8
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
