I'm jealous of your bromance
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
