Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
