I think i sorta joined a cult last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
