so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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