Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize