How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
