Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
