I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
