The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize