you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
