fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
