I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
