and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
