Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
