imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize