We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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