Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
