Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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