Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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