That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
