hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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