Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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