one might say we're banned from that church
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
