I'm eating all of the evidence.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
