I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
