remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
