...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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