the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
