For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
