a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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