So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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