Cold hands, warm shart.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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